


Between the Lines

by dexstarr



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Character Study, Community: hp_tarot, Gen, POV Narcissa Black Malfoy, Tarot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-07 00:12:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12221805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dexstarr/pseuds/dexstarr
Summary: Narcissa never thought she would love anyone more than she loved herself.





	Between the Lines

**Author's Note:**

> _Harry Potter_ is not mine and no profit is made from this work. Written for the LJ community [hp_tarot](http://hp-tarot.livejournal.com/). Event: Round 4, The Star: "Hope, guidance by one's conscience or higher self."

 

## There

Narcissa never thought she would love anyone more than she loved herself. 

She loved her parents and her sisters, of course, but in her mind, she was the best one in the family. Her father reinforced her mental view, buying her everything her gaze landed on and some things it didn't — one memorable gift was a unicorn foal, picked out because Cygnus thought his youngest would like the shiny, gold coat. 

When she was six, Narcissa bopped Bellatrix on the nose because she wanted her sister's birthday gift — a pearl necklace. Druella didn't punish her for unladylike behavior, and when Bellatrix whined about how unfair it was — why was Narcissa allowed to misbehave? — their mother handed the necklace over to Narcissa. 

Even Sirius and Regulus spoiled her — the brothers she never had. Well, Sirius did until he got unnatural ideas about how purebloods and vermin should interact, but Regulus adored her until the day he disappeared. She was older than him, but they shared the bond of being the youngest in their families. 

## Is

The switch from a Black to a Malfoy didn't change Narcissa's perspective on herself. Lucius spoiled her just as her parents had, wanting everyone to see that his wife had the best of the best of the best. His spending was almost disgustingly nouveau riche, but Narcissa didn't mind. Not when it came to her. His prancing peacocks were another matter.  
  
She married Lucius because he was the best choice, and being Narcissa, she always had the best. No one else would have been a suitable choice — certainly not Antonin, with his scarred face, and definitely not Rabastan, with her sister already married to a Lestrange.  
  
There was one other reason Narcissa picked Lucius.   
  
She loved him.  
  
Oh, not as much as she loved herself, but there was enough there for their marriage to become a relationship as well as a partnership. 

## Nothing

The day Draco was placed in her arms — June 5, 1980 — was the day that the most secret part of Narcissa's heart expanded.   
  
At first, she doubted the baby was hers. He was a shapeless lump, red-faced and hairless, mouth open in an unending scream. There was no way  _she_  would have created an ugly, undignified baby, but the mediwitch hadn't left the room during the delivery, so Narcissa had to accept it was her child and not some changeling.   
  
Draco's cries silenced the minute his sea-blue eyes locked on hers — later they changed to the storm-grey of his father — and at that moment, Narcissa fell in love. Instantly she knew there was nothing she wouldn't do to protect her son. The importance of having a son had been drilled into her head her entire life, but she hadn't known what it would mean to have a child of her own until Lucius wanted to hand the newborn off to Dobby. It took Narcissa pulling her wand out from under the pillow and threatening to hex him for Lucius to admit that maybe a house-elf wasn't the best caretaker for an infant. 

## I

In naming her son after a constellation, Narcissa hoped to imbue him with her family's legacy. Almost all Blacks had celestial names, and she wanted her son to remember that he was a Black as well as a Malfoy. With his combined bloodlines, her son was the purest of the pure, and surely destined for great things.   
  
When she caught herself whispering her hopes for his future in Draco's ear, she realized just how far she had fallen. Never in her life had anyone been more important to her than herself, but now there was this tiny baby who changed everything.

## Wouldn't

Narcissa was the consummate socialite, and loved to attend events on Lucius's arm. They made the perfect couple, imitated by some and envied by all. Whenever they entered a room, all eyes focused on them, and there was always a write up the next day in the social pages of  _The Daily Prophet._  
  
Every pure-blood woman looked up to her and tried to emulate her. Narcissa loved the attention and the power.   
  
She never thought she would want to stay home from balls and even tea parties to coo nonsense to her baby, or to read to Draco as he got older.   
  
She never thought she would want to shop for anyone other than herself, but spoiling Draco became her favorite activity, and before long, he needed an entire wing of the manor for his toys. 

## Do

Bellatrix followed her when she went to Spinner's End. They had argued about it for days, with Bellatrix trying her hardest to dissuade her, but in the end, Narcissa followed her heart.   
  
She didn't let her sister see the disgust she felt at going to him, not with the way Bellatrix had carried on about disobeying the Dark Lord's orders. She didn't fully trust Snape herself, but there was no other choice.   
  
Even before Draco had started at Hogwarts, Narcissa had cultivated a relationship with Snape. She did it because Hogwarts was one of the few places her influence didn't reach, not even with Lucius on the Board of Governors, and she wanted her son to have the prestige he deserved while at school.  
  
She had never counted on needing that relationship to protect her son, but it was there, so she used it. Just stepping into Snape's decrepit house made her skin crawl and bile rise in her throat, but she ignored her disgust, drowning it in tears. Bellatrix's presence even came in handy — her sister's accusations got on Snape's nerves, and no doubt played a part in getting him to agree to make the Unbreakable Vow. 

## Anymore

 _Her cheek hurts from where the hex hit, and she instinctively lifts a hand to rub the sting away. Lucius grabs her hand and forces it back to her side, reminding her not to show weakness in front of the Dark Lord._  
  
_The Dark Lord is staring at her now, his red eyes gleaming angrily in the darkness of the forest. Over the past few months, she has learnt to read the expressions in those eyes, and knows she has only seconds before he curses her again._  
  
_Narcissa steps forward and kneels by the fallen boy. She slides a hand under his shirt; his heartbeat thumps steadily under her palm._  
  
_Potter is alive._  
  
_She gasps, the sound thankfully inaudible, and realizes this is her chance. This is her opportunity to enter the castle and find Draco herself._  
  
_"He is dead!"_

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally written in September 2011. It was the Best Character Study fic :)
> 
> Come visit me on [tumblr!](http://galacticcoyote.tumblr.com/)


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